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Things
Found Only In
America
1.
Only in America......can
a pizza get to your
house faster than an
ambulance.
2.
Only in America......are
there handicap parking
places in front of a
skating rink.
3.
Only in America......do
drugstores make the sick
walk all the way to the
back of the store to get
their prescriptions
while healthy people can
buy cigarettes at the
front.
4.
Only in America......do
people order double
cheese burgers, large
fries, and a diet
Coke.
5.
Only in America......do
banks leave both doors
to the vault open and
then chain the pens to
the counters.
6.
Only in America......do
we leave cars worth
thousands of dollars in
the driveway and put our
useless junk in the
garage.
7.
Only in America......do
we use answering
machines to screen calls
and then have call
waiting so we won't miss
a call from someone we
didn't want to talk to
in the first
place.
8.
Only in America......do
we buy hot dogs in
packages of ten and buns
in packages of
eight.
9.
Only in America......do
we use the word
'politics' to describe
the process so well:
Poli' in Latin meaning
'many' and 'tics'
meaning 'bloodsucking
creatures'.
10.
Only
in America......do they
have drive-up ATM
machines with Braille
lettering.
Youth
Tips for
Living.
Sometimes
one pays most for the
things they get the
least out of.
To
set the goal of only
seeking to make ones
life comfortable and
happy is to live life
more like a herd of
cattle than human
beings.
"Knowledge
is limited but
imagination encircles
the
world."
"when
the solution is simple,
God is
answering."
Just
remember, every time you
feel really
blue, just look
in the mirror, you'll
see that you are still
the same color!
More
Important
Knowledge.
The
phrase, "that's a bunch
of Bull" comes from the
French verb
"boule" which
means " to
lie."
Why
go along with the crowd?
Not
all things in life are
what they seem. As
Christians we need to be
brave enough to be real,
not some
Optical
Illusion!
Here are some weird
illusions to
check
out.
And
a few more
just for
fun!
Here
are some true Looney
Laws.
(
be careful you do not
break
them)
In
Barber, N.C. it is
illegal for a cat to
fight a dog.
In
Clawson City, Mich. you
must have it on a leash
if you plan on walking
your
elephant!
In
Natoma, Kansas it is
illegal to throw knives
at men in stripped
suits.
Michigan
law forbids you to tie
your crocodile to a fire
hydrant.
In
Vermont it is against
the law to whistle under
water.
In
Cotton Valley, Louisiana
cows and Horses are
forbidden to sleep in a
bakery.
"Now
you know and knowing is
half the ....etc.
etc."
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Old
Farmer's Advice
Your
fences need to be
horse-high, pig-tight
and
bull-strong.
Keep
skunks, bankers and
lawyers at a
distance.
Life
is simpler when you plow
around the
stump.
A
bumble bee is
considerably faster than
a John Deere
tractor.
Words
that soak into your ears
are whispered... not
yelled.
Meanness
don't jus' happen
overnight.
Forgive
your enemies. It messes
up their
heads.
Do
not corner something
that you know is meaner
than you.
It
don't take a very big
person to carry a
grudge.
You
cannot unsay a cruel
word.
Every
path has a few
puddles.
When
you wallow with pigs,
expect to get
dirty.
The
best sermons are lived,
not preached.
Most
of the stuff people
worry about ain't never
gonna happen
anyway.
Don't
judge folks by their
relatives.
Remember
that silence is
sometimes the best
answer.
Live
a good, honorable life.
Then when you get older
and think back, you'll
enjoy it a second
time.
Don't
interfere with somethin'
that ain't botherin' you
none.
Timing
has a lot to do with the
outcome of a rain
dance.
If
you find yourself in a
hole, the first thing to
do is stop
diggin'.
Sometimes
you get, and sometimes
you get got.
The
biggest troublemaker
you'll probably ever
have to deal with
watches you from the
mirror every
mornin'.
Always
drink upstream from the
herd.
Good
judgment comes from
experience.
Lettin'
the cat outta the bag is
a whole lot easier than
puttin' it back
in.
If
you get to thinkin'
you're a person of some
influence, try orderin'
somebody else's dog
around.
Live
simply. Love generously.
Care deeply. Speak
kindly. Leave the rest
to God.
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