Abram and Lot Resolve a Family Conflict

How to Solve Problems

Bible Study Lessons -- Genesis 13:1-18  

You and I have family conflicts frequently (if we are average) - Lot and Abram were no different. Their possessions had overreached the boundaries where they lived so a compromise had to be met. Read the Bible verses from Genesis and see how Abraham (Abram) solves the situation between Lot and himself. See how we can solve ours in the lesson below.

Genesis 13:1 So Abram went up from Egypt to the Negev, he and his wife and all that belonged to him, and Lot with him.

2 Now Abram was very rich in livestock, in silver and in gold.

3 He went on his journeys from the Negev as far as Bethel, to the place where his tent had been at the beginning, between Bethel and Ai,

4 to the place of the altar which he had made there formerly; and there Abram called on the name of the LORD.

5 Now Lot, who went with Abram, also had flocks and herds and tents.

6 And the land could not sustain them while dwelling together, for their possessions were so great that they were not able to remain together.

7 And there was strife between the herdsmen of Abram's livestock and the herdsmen of Lot's livestock Now the Canaanite and the Perizzite were dwelling then in the land.

8 So Abram said to Lot, "Please let there be no strife between you and me, nor between my herdsmen and your herdsmen, for we are brothers.

9 "Is not the whole land before you? Please separate from me; if to the left, then I will go to the right; or if to the right, then I will go to the left."

10 Lot lifted up his eyes and saw all the valley of the Jordan, that it was well watered everywhere--this was before the LORD destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah--like the garden of the LORD, like the land of Egypt as you go to Zoar.

11 So Lot chose for himself all the valley of the Jordan, and Lot journeyed eastward. Thus they separated from each other.

12 Abram settled in the land of Canaan, while Lot settled in the cities of the valley, and moved his tents as far as Sodom.

13 Now the men of Sodom were wicked exceedingly and sinners against the LORD.

14 The LORD said to Abram, after Lot had separated from him, "Now lift up your eyes and look from the place where you are, northward and southward and eastward and westward;

15 for all the land which you see, I will give it to you and to your descendants forever.

16 "I will make your descendants as the dust of the earth, so that if anyone can number the dust of the earth, then your descendants can also be numbered.

17 "Arise, walk about the land through its length and breadth; for I will give it to you."

18 Then Abram moved his tent and came and dwelt by the oaks of Mamre, which are in Hebron, and there he built an altar to the LORD.

Abram Separates from Lot and Resolves the Family Conflict

You know, in all my reading, for some reason I never really thought of Abram as being rich. I've always pictured an old man barely making ends meet. So much for perceptions. Now, on with the lesson...

Compromise of Abram

As shown in verses 8 and 9, Abram did not want to make an enemy of his nephew, Lot, so he made a compromise with him and offered Lot the first move. Abram was willing to take a risk of losing by giving Lot this generous offer.

Winners and Losers

Abram's response holds a lesson for us when we find ourselves in conflict with family members, friends or coworkers. Many people believe that negotiation must have a winner and a loser. Abram didn't see it that way. He found that the problem could be solved by giving up something and ended up with a win-win situation.

Be a Problem Solver - Not a Problem Maker

Let's remember Abram's example next time we find ourselves in an awkward situation with family members, coworkers or business associates. Sometimes, all it takes is a willingness to make the first move toward resolution by letting others win - or at least save face.

We may sometimes be cheated using this method of reasoning but many times we will find that our part of the bargain is very satisfactory without going through the anguish of conflict. Can you and I become problem solvers?

Love in Christ

- Bob

The office is not only a place for business, but also a place where people meet other people, interact, make friends, and sometimes, unfortunately, make enemies.

Conflict IS Going to Happen

The employees of an office altogether form a social group, and where there is a social group, there is always the potential for social conflict between its members.

Conflict with reference to business concerns is expected, acceptable as long as the conflict remains a professional disagreement, but when office conflict arises out of personality clashes, subgroup and nonbusiness related differences, such conflict can have a serious impact on productivity, quality and the bottom line. That's when social conflict requires management attention.

Competitive Spirit can Cause Problems

Often, especially in offices of highly skilled employees, conflict occurs out of competition. Many businesses encourage their employees to compete. Competition can bring out the best in employees, increasing both production and quality.

One Resolving Method

When competition reduces employee esteem, or when it turns employees into ruthless enemies, then management simply needs to remove encouraged competition and direct their employees to work as a team. Office conflict often disappears when management increases the interdependence of workers. Use competition when it facilitates your business objectives, but don't overuse. Use competition intelligently.

Capitalism promotes competition among businesses and individuals. This cultural trait may sometimes rule the worker: the worker sees himself as always in competition, even with coworkers. When threatened by a competitive coworker, some employees will use personal attacks to denigrate their competition, or to preserve their own self-image.

Manager as Conflict Mediator

When a manager perceives that this is the case, its time for the manager to have a talk with the employee and guide the employee towards more mature behavior. If the employee's attacks are malicious, it's better to let the employee go than to have a conflict escalate into personal assaults. The manager must be ever mindful of employee safety.

Respect Rights

Office conflict can be avoided if the business fosters common respect among its employees and demands professionalism at all times. The personnel department of a business should have policies in place to allow employees to report office conflicts and to provide a fair and adequate hearing on all sides.

An open door policy should be in place that assures employees that no retaliation will occur, either from the person with which the employee is in conflict, the person's manager or his department. To avoid the politicization of a conflict, personnel should judge all conflicts and render solutions. Personnel is trained for this task.

Put It in Writing

A code of conduct for office employees should be posted on boards throughout the organization and included in employee handbooks. New employees may be made aware of the organization's code of conduct at new employee orientations.

By setting an example of respect and consideration for fellow workers, management can prevent many office conflicts from ever occurring.

Use this Bible Study Lesson for Conflict Resolution

The next time you are faced with your next situation, no matter if it is at home with family members, at work or with friends at church, remember how Abram and Lot resolved their differences.

Just Like Abram ( Abraham ) Make Your Conflict Win-Win

Abram gained by losing and setting up a compromise all could live with. Use the wisdom of God and the Book of Genesis next time you are confronted. God always knows the best solution.

Genesis 9:18-29 - Sons of Noah